We return to our ongoing satirical CSPAN coverage of live testimony of HUD Secretary, Ben Carson, in front of the House Financial Services Committee where he is now being questioned by Rep. Katie Porter, D-CA:
Porter: “I would also like to ask you to get back to me, if you don’t mind, to explain the disparity in REO rates. Do you know what an REO is?”
Carson: “Of course I do Ms. Porter. Any patriotic American like myself knows that Oreos are creamy-filled delights sandwiched between tasty crisp cookies. I have been eating them since I was a child, and I am very proud to say that I continue to support this American company by eating them today.
“I have followed their development from their original recipe to the breakout of their new flavors with chocolate cocoa and then peanut butter and double-cream centers to vanilla cookies to ice cream Oreo sandwiches.
“So, to answer your question congresswoman, as an advocate of free markets, if there is any actual disparities in Oreo rates, it represents only what markets will allow.”
Porter: “No Mr. Secretary, I was asking you about REO rates? Do you know what these are as the Secretary of HUD?”
Carson: “Real estate?”
Porter: “What’s the O stand for?”
Carson: “E-organization?”
Porter: “No, ‘owned.’ REO stands for ‘real estate owned,” a type of property owned by a lender such as a bank after the foreclosure of a property. This and other acronyms used by your department are in full view on your website. I am asking why your agency lists so many REO properties.
“Since my time has expired, I turn over the questioning to my colleague Rep. Joyce Beatty, D-OH.”
Beatty: “Secretary Carson, since we are on the topic of acronyms, do you know about OMWI?”
Carson: “Well I certainly do. At one time my wife was an Amway door-to-door representative. Her job helped to bring in money to our household when I was still in medical school studying to become a neurosurgeon.
“We particularly liked the soap products that not only were effective cleaners, but also made our house smell spring fresh. I still support this great company because it filled the great void left by the decline of the Fuller Brush Company and the World Book Encyclopedia by continuing to offer people the freedom to work on their own time and earn extra money for their families.”
Beatty: “No Dr. Carson. I was asking if you know about OMWI: Office of Minority and Women Inclusion, which works to ensure greater staff diversity within the federal government.”
Carson: “Be that as it may, I still believe that Amway is serving an important function in our beloved country.”
Beatty: “I’m so exasperated I will use some of my time to permit another colleague to ask you a quick question.”
Unidentified Rep.: “Dr. Carson, what does the acronym HUD stand for?”
Carson: “Oh please – it stands for ‘Handling Undocumented Deportations.’ Everyone knows that.”
Beatty: “So, as you have shown us Dr. Carson, serving as chief administrator of the Department of Housing and Urban Development is certainly not brain surgery. Maybe you should have kept the job you trained for and achieved a good amount of respect.”
CSPAN Announcer: “So as we have seen, Ben Carson completes the lie of Donald Trump’s promise to hire only ‘the best and the brightest,’ along with other cabinet secretaries and chief advisors such as Betsy DeVos, Jeff Sessions, Tom Price, Mike Flynn, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Paul Manifort, Scott Pruitt, Rex Tillerson, Rick Perry, Steven Mnuchin, Steve Bannon, Steven Miller, John Bolton, Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump Kushner, and most of the others who are not qualified for the positions to which they were hired.”
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The post Ben Carson Eats Oreos and Crow at Congressional Hearing appeared first on The Good Men Project.